Haven't you?

To really love a woman
to understand her
you've got to know what deep inside
hear every thought see every dream
and give her wings when she wants to fly
and when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell her that she's really woman
When you love a woman
you tell her that she's the one
She needs somebody
to tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
really, reallly
ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
to let her hold you
till you know how she needs to be touched
you've gotta breath her
and really taste her
until you can feel her in your blood
when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell her that she's really woman
When you love a woman
you tell that she's the one
She needs somebody
to tell her that you'll always be together
so tell me have you've ever really,
really, really ever loved a woman?

You've got to give her some faith
hold her tight
a little tenderness
you've gotta treat her right
she will be there for you
taking good care of you
(you've really gotta love your woman) (yeah)
and when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms
you know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell her that she's really woman
When you love a woman
you tell her that she's the one
She needs somebody
to tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever, really
really, really, ever loved a woman?
Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman?
Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman?
("Have you ever really loved a woman">>Bryan Adams)

Cerita lagi deh. Maaf kalau bosen.

haha..kayaknya udah ketebak deh apa yang mau gue ceritain
lagi..

yups, again and again..
about my bf.

sebenarnya tadinya sih bisa - biasa aja.
tapi gue dapet laporan, kalau dia ********h..
gue coba cari info sih, secara gue orangnya gak bego masalah beginian.
yah, ternyata ada indikasi kalau..mungkin,
he's on cheating or whatever it will be really cheating act or nope..

and i'm so sick about it.
hurt a little bit (if it is rite) , tapi kalau itu bener gue malah jatohnya males dan ilfeel..
bukan marah,
palingan kesel aja..

if he really did it, i'll absolutely break him up.
gue gak pantes buat jerk kayak gitu.
bagi gue faithfulness is number one, top of my list.

harta? udah gue bilang gak penting banget bagi gue..
tampang? emang penting sih, tapi bukan prioritas juga..buat apa ganteng tapi jerk!
pinter? sama, bukan juga..

kesetiaan yang ada di atas itu semua.
gue egois masalah cinta.
honestly,
i want to be the only one.
i want my man see me as the one. only me.
i want my man love me as the one.only me.
gue mau hanya gue yang ada dipandangannya..

So, that's why i called selfish to myself..

i envy bella and edward.
so much,
love life yang perfect.
i do really hate that i (maybe) can't have such story like them. tercipta hanya untuk satu orang. bahkan, edward menunggu hampir seabad. 90 tahun!
could you imagine that?
oh my..for god's sake!

tapi yang gue lebih benci,
ketika gue jatuh untuk seseorang,
i'll give my whole heart.
i am going to fall with my all.

gue kuno banget yah?
ada yang bilang gue itu berlebihan,
tapi apa boleh buat.
gue gak bisa ngerubah apa yang ada. gue ya gue.
bomat kalo gue KUNO.

ini yang ngebuat gue -personally- do NOT believe real love like soulmate ever exist in this world.
ga mungkin ada love like adam dan hawa gitu..
seperti romeo dan juliet, what the hell..impossible.

So, kita liat aja.
gimana nanti..semuanya berakhir..

.sketches.me.made.

MERMAID>MERMAID>MERMAID>>>>>........;D

webcam @ school

we will rock you!..:D

YESTERDAY'S SAD MEMORY

Yesterday my parents gone.

but not really gone like that! Gosh..!

Oh my, NOPE . buang pikiran itu JAUH - JAUH. I’m not ready yet .
I’m just ordinary 16 years old teenage.
The new is,
They will have hajji for about almost a month.

Hmm…ternyata gue gak bisa nahan air mata juga..
My tears just leak out from my eyes. Even though I tried to be strong. Gue sampe ga sanggup buat natap mereka , mereka tuh melambaikan tangan ke gue gue dengan begonyaa malah nunduk. Ah elah, cengeng abis deh . tapi gue udah bomat aja sama orang – orang yang stared at me . Oh yeah, Almost everybody stared at me. Kambing mampet , tapi BOMAT AJA DEH. Toh penampilan gue udah mess up kemaren. Gue gak mikirin penampilan gue sama sekali . padahal, I used to care to my appearance .

Tapi I don’t CARE MUCH ABOUT IT . yang penting gue harus nganterin bonyok no matter what.
I can’t help myself.

When I told these (to my bf of course) , he said that it was common. Ordinary peoples usually got tear drops when something precious gone. Yes, my parents are TOTALLY MY TREASURE.
Although I never say it loud ,
I hope they’re going to be just fine. Nothing necessary happen..
I hope..:)

Gara – gara kemaren gue butuh coffee buat nenangin pikiran .
Yeah , I can’t stop myself from coffee addicted. Bagi gue coffee udah kayak mariyuana kali yah . abisnya gue tuh suka semua jenis kopi. mau itu pahit kek , latte kek, manis kek, caramel kek . I don’t really mind it cause , they’re smell damn good to me. Coffee is goddess drink ever . Heavenly delirious..
Aroma biji coffee(mau yang ditumbuk atau yang masih berupa biji) aja udah bikin gue kayak nyium perfume channel . Sounds weird, isn’t it?
Apa sih nama buat penggila kopi kayak gue? Caffeine holic? Apa yahh???
It’s kind of habit , impossible to keep myself from it .
Ugh. Maybe I can’t stop to consume these stuffs in this suck situation .
For god’s sake , I just can’t……

Aaaaaaaaaaaaa.

gini yah.
pertama - tama. gue ngerasa my bf udah bener - bener berubah.
Why?
1. dia jarang sms. sms seperlunya. singkat lagi. bikin BT aja.wtf ?!
2.it seems like he don't even care i'm still alive or not.
3. dia gak peduli sama gue. nanyain apa kek. ini mah enggak!
4. he's caring side totally dissapered. what the hell? gue gak ngerti.
5. i thought maybe he lost his love love me. in other hand, BOSEN.

kemana perginya bf yang selalu say hai dipagi hari?
kemana my old bf yang lucu dan so sweet sama gue?
i miss him a lot.
bring him back please..:"(

gue jadi gak kenal siapa bf gue sekarang.
he turns into snowman.
BRRRRR..dingin deh gue.

dia bilang dia suka pacaran yang rajin sms.
fine, i did it.
dia bilang gue DINGIN gak manggil pake sebutan yang manis - manis.
fine, i did it.
gue panggil darl lah, honey lah, sayang lah, APA LAH..
PADAHAL GUE TUH ORANGNYA GAK SUKA SAMA HAL - HAL GAK PENTING KAYAK GINI.
dia bilang gue gak boleh potong rambut.
fine, i did it.
WALAUPUN GUE HARUS MAKAN HATI, JANTUNG ATAU LIVER (eh ini enggak deh, aneh)
BUAT NAHAN DIRI GAK MOTONG GAYA RAMBUT YANG KEREN ABIS MENURUT GUE.
dia bilang gue harus ngabarin dia dimana pun gue berada.
fine i did it.
GUE BILANG DIMANAPUN GUE BERADA WALAUPUN SEKARANG DIA GAK NGABARIN GUE LAGI KALAU KEMANA - MANA . ENTAH LUPA ATAU GAK MAU NGABARIN SAMA SEKALI.

see?
gue padahal udah bodo amat sama perkataan temen - temen gue yang nyuruh gue putus sama dia. tapi mau gimana lagi, gue udah terlanjur sayang. EMANG LO CURANG BANGET.

dia gak tau gue kayak gimana takutnya pas dia marah.
dia gak tau udah berapa banyak waktu yang gue relain buat dia. INGET TUH. MALEM JUGA.
dia gak tau gue bela - belain diomelin nyokap + tampang pejabat bokap gue.
dia gak tau gue udah rela ngebelain dia dan NGELINDUNGIN dia di depan bonyok gue.
dia gak tau temen - temen gue udah ngeliat tampat NELANGSA GUE pas ada masalah sama dia. EVEN I HAD A TEARDROP FOR HIM.
dia gak tau khawatirnya gue kehilangan dia.
dia gak tau gue frustrasi pas nunggu keputusan dia .
dia gak tau gue pasrah pas ngerasa dia ngejauh dari gue.

YA DIA GAK TAU.
gue juga gak maksa dia au.
gue selalu terima bf gue apa adanya. gue seneng kalu mereka seneng. no matter if it is hurt . i'll secrife myself. gue gak nuntut ini itu.
gue gak matre.
gue juga gak aneh - aneh maunya.
permintaan gue sederhana.
terima gue apa adanya.
hargain keputusan gue .
dan , tetep disamping gue, jangan berubah.

perempuan manapun , even if it is me though , curiga kalau bf-nya berubah seperti ini,
bener gak sih?
dari super perhatian jadi dingin gini?
ada 2 kemungkinan sih..
1. perempuan itu BODOH atau IDIOT.
2 perempuan itu TIDAK PERNAH SAYANG dan menilai itu semua tidak cukup penting baginya.

lalu,
apakah gue berlebihan?
gue rasa enggak deh.

CURCOL AJA DEH GAK ADA MEDIA BUAT NGOMONG

first of all..
long time no see..bla bla bla..
bullshark for being english spoken person..
for now, i just want to express my own feeling.
okey, in short , i got a new boyfriend.
tapi yang ngeselin . dia tuh MALESIN .
shit, i never been in these kind of things . my ex-es tuh biasanya pengertian dan perhatian . mereka tau banget siapa gue. dan BIASANYA ADEM AYEM AJA TUH.
so, what happened now?
geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssss,
i'm too tired to fighting , everyday.
yes, EVERYDAY. ALMOST EVERYDAY..
silly, it usually comes from easy little things. AGH WHAT SHOULD I DO?
gue tuh sadar, dia buat gue berubah sedikit demi sedikit.
sadar buat kebaikan gue juga. BUT , didn't it go too much?
kadang gue rasa dia terlalu menuntut .
So sorry aja kalau gue gak seperti your Ex-es whose you've already got before.
So sorry aja if i'm not kind of lovey dopey girl that used to be childish and sweeeeeeeet!
oh dear, i'm the girl who's independet and free . gue juga used to be a mature girl, jauh dari perempuan pada umumnya . but, is it a big deal anyway?
i thought we have to accept what are in ..
terima apa adanya kan?

gue harus gimana?
gue EMANG CUEK . TAPI GUE UDAH BERUSAHA .
like what you've told me.
but, it's just who i really am .
better for you to start accept..