Jumat, 20 November 2009

YESTERDAY'S SAD MEMORY

Yesterday my parents gone.

but not really gone like that! Gosh..!

Oh my, NOPE . buang pikiran itu JAUH - JAUH. I’m not ready yet .
I’m just ordinary 16 years old teenage.
The new is,
They will have hajji for about almost a month.

Hmm…ternyata gue gak bisa nahan air mata juga..
My tears just leak out from my eyes. Even though I tried to be strong. Gue sampe ga sanggup buat natap mereka , mereka tuh melambaikan tangan ke gue gue dengan begonyaa malah nunduk. Ah elah, cengeng abis deh . tapi gue udah bomat aja sama orang – orang yang stared at me . Oh yeah, Almost everybody stared at me. Kambing mampet , tapi BOMAT AJA DEH. Toh penampilan gue udah mess up kemaren. Gue gak mikirin penampilan gue sama sekali . padahal, I used to care to my appearance .

Tapi I don’t CARE MUCH ABOUT IT . yang penting gue harus nganterin bonyok no matter what.
I can’t help myself.

When I told these (to my bf of course) , he said that it was common. Ordinary peoples usually got tear drops when something precious gone. Yes, my parents are TOTALLY MY TREASURE.
Although I never say it loud ,
I hope they’re going to be just fine. Nothing necessary happen..
I hope..:)

Gara – gara kemaren gue butuh coffee buat nenangin pikiran .
Yeah , I can’t stop myself from coffee addicted. Bagi gue coffee udah kayak mariyuana kali yah . abisnya gue tuh suka semua jenis kopi. mau itu pahit kek , latte kek, manis kek, caramel kek . I don’t really mind it cause , they’re smell damn good to me. Coffee is goddess drink ever . Heavenly delirious..
Aroma biji coffee(mau yang ditumbuk atau yang masih berupa biji) aja udah bikin gue kayak nyium perfume channel . Sounds weird, isn’t it?
Apa sih nama buat penggila kopi kayak gue? Caffeine holic? Apa yahh???
It’s kind of habit , impossible to keep myself from it .
Ugh. Maybe I can’t stop to consume these stuffs in this suck situation .
For god’s sake , I just can’t……

Sabtu, 14 November 2009

Aaaaaaaaaaaaa.

gini yah.
pertama - tama. gue ngerasa my bf udah bener - bener berubah.
Why?
1. dia jarang sms. sms seperlunya. singkat lagi. bikin BT aja.wtf ?!
2.it seems like he don't even care i'm still alive or not.
3. dia gak peduli sama gue. nanyain apa kek. ini mah enggak!
4. he's caring side totally dissapered. what the hell? gue gak ngerti.
5. i thought maybe he lost his love love me. in other hand, BOSEN.

kemana perginya bf yang selalu say hai dipagi hari?
kemana my old bf yang lucu dan so sweet sama gue?
i miss him a lot.
bring him back please..:"(

gue jadi gak kenal siapa bf gue sekarang.
he turns into snowman.
BRRRRR..dingin deh gue.

dia bilang dia suka pacaran yang rajin sms.
fine, i did it.
dia bilang gue DINGIN gak manggil pake sebutan yang manis - manis.
fine, i did it.
gue panggil darl lah, honey lah, sayang lah, APA LAH..
PADAHAL GUE TUH ORANGNYA GAK SUKA SAMA HAL - HAL GAK PENTING KAYAK GINI.
dia bilang gue gak boleh potong rambut.
fine, i did it.
WALAUPUN GUE HARUS MAKAN HATI, JANTUNG ATAU LIVER (eh ini enggak deh, aneh)
BUAT NAHAN DIRI GAK MOTONG GAYA RAMBUT YANG KEREN ABIS MENURUT GUE.
dia bilang gue harus ngabarin dia dimana pun gue berada.
fine i did it.
GUE BILANG DIMANAPUN GUE BERADA WALAUPUN SEKARANG DIA GAK NGABARIN GUE LAGI KALAU KEMANA - MANA . ENTAH LUPA ATAU GAK MAU NGABARIN SAMA SEKALI.

see?
gue padahal udah bodo amat sama perkataan temen - temen gue yang nyuruh gue putus sama dia. tapi mau gimana lagi, gue udah terlanjur sayang. EMANG LO CURANG BANGET.

dia gak tau gue kayak gimana takutnya pas dia marah.
dia gak tau udah berapa banyak waktu yang gue relain buat dia. INGET TUH. MALEM JUGA.
dia gak tau gue bela - belain diomelin nyokap + tampang pejabat bokap gue.
dia gak tau gue udah rela ngebelain dia dan NGELINDUNGIN dia di depan bonyok gue.
dia gak tau temen - temen gue udah ngeliat tampat NELANGSA GUE pas ada masalah sama dia. EVEN I HAD A TEARDROP FOR HIM.
dia gak tau khawatirnya gue kehilangan dia.
dia gak tau gue frustrasi pas nunggu keputusan dia .
dia gak tau gue pasrah pas ngerasa dia ngejauh dari gue.

YA DIA GAK TAU.
gue juga gak maksa dia au.
gue selalu terima bf gue apa adanya. gue seneng kalu mereka seneng. no matter if it is hurt . i'll secrife myself. gue gak nuntut ini itu.
gue gak matre.
gue juga gak aneh - aneh maunya.
permintaan gue sederhana.
terima gue apa adanya.
hargain keputusan gue .
dan , tetep disamping gue, jangan berubah.

perempuan manapun , even if it is me though , curiga kalau bf-nya berubah seperti ini,
bener gak sih?
dari super perhatian jadi dingin gini?
ada 2 kemungkinan sih..
1. perempuan itu BODOH atau IDIOT.
2 perempuan itu TIDAK PERNAH SAYANG dan menilai itu semua tidak cukup penting baginya.

lalu,
apakah gue berlebihan?
gue rasa enggak deh.

Selasa, 10 November 2009

CURCOL AJA DEH GAK ADA MEDIA BUAT NGOMONG

first of all..
long time no see..bla bla bla..
bullshark for being english spoken person..
for now, i just want to express my own feeling.
okey, in short , i got a new boyfriend.
tapi yang ngeselin . dia tuh MALESIN .
shit, i never been in these kind of things . my ex-es tuh biasanya pengertian dan perhatian . mereka tau banget siapa gue. dan BIASANYA ADEM AYEM AJA TUH.
so, what happened now?
geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssss,
i'm too tired to fighting , everyday.
yes, EVERYDAY. ALMOST EVERYDAY..
silly, it usually comes from easy little things. AGH WHAT SHOULD I DO?
gue tuh sadar, dia buat gue berubah sedikit demi sedikit.
sadar buat kebaikan gue juga. BUT , didn't it go too much?
kadang gue rasa dia terlalu menuntut .
So sorry aja kalau gue gak seperti your Ex-es whose you've already got before.
So sorry aja if i'm not kind of lovey dopey girl that used to be childish and sweeeeeeeet!
oh dear, i'm the girl who's independet and free . gue juga used to be a mature girl, jauh dari perempuan pada umumnya . but, is it a big deal anyway?
i thought we have to accept what are in ..
terima apa adanya kan?

gue harus gimana?
gue EMANG CUEK . TAPI GUE UDAH BERUSAHA .
like what you've told me.
but, it's just who i really am .
better for you to start accept..

Kamis, 09 Juli 2009

My List

first of all i would like to say ,
i'm very sad to michael jackson's death.
your soul inspired me, always...:""C
*ugh,i'm cryin' again..*

i love you until the end.
king of pop..

next, back to my purpose ..
i want to tell you bout my list , the most in my world for some subjects..:d

10 hottest guy are:
eng ing eng..

10. JOHNNY DEEP

9. WU CHUN

8. MATSUDA SHOTA

7. ALEXANDER LUDWIG

6. GACKT

5. KEVIN APRILLIO (because of his music taste..)

4. HERO JAEJOONG

3. REITA GAZETTE

2. JAMES OWEN SULLIVAN

1. KIM BUM

they are persons..
who are (for me) the most wanted boyfriend in my world..hahahaha

10 hottest anime characters are:
eng ing eng

10. TIDUS (Final Fantasy)

9. GENZO SANZO (Saiyuki Reload)

8. SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS (kuroshitsuji)

7. SESSHOUMARU (inuyasha)

6. ECHIZEN RYOMA (Prince of Tennis)

5. NEJI HYUUGA (Naruto & Naruto Shippuden)

4. SABAKU GAARA (Naruto & Naruto Shippuden)

3. VINCENT VALENTINE (Final Fantasy)

2. TEZUKA KUNIMITSU (Prince of Tennis)

1. HAJI (Blood+)

hahaw..that all for now..
maybe next time, i'll tell you more...:d

see you around...:D

Kamis, 12 Maret 2009

Written by Lulu

My name is Lulu . 3 years ago someone took me from far away and brought Lulu to my present Master . Lulu cared master so much . Lulu cannot lie that lulu wants to write some story now . Lulu is living in master's room .
master's room quite messy sometimes but, master cleans it up every times she is getting cough with that allergy . Lulu sad when master gets ill for those things . Lulu happy if master smiles , but hurt also at master's dew . master always hugging lulu when master cry . Lulu can felt master's dews between lulu's skin . Lulu wanted to cry with , but no dew comes out . lulu wants to cry .
last days , master said something about miracle . Lulu does not know what it is . Lulu can't talk so , lulu just listed to master's words . master said miracle means : irrational , untrusted , and destructive . master always said that . master never believes in miracle . master said real world had no good . Right-wings will betray their own left-wings . many scars , crushed the tissue so , they will not fly . master said immortal miracle which will gained along the lifetime never exist . master not believed the true miracle , so was soul mate as well . Master , Lulu worried about you . Lulu is looking at master every times master sleeps beside lulu . Master... master... master... Lulu is here all the time .
Lulu knew there were many butterfly wings in this world . they are happy . but , why master did not ? Lulu wants master's happiness . smile as many as master could . Lulu 's master felt strange if master found butterfly wings with unconditional miracle . master said it was weird . although my master has already felt being a butterfly wings . my master never wanted to fly back the previous one .
Lulu has an old friend . He is kurohane-san . kurohane-san told lulu that master just dizzy because of society . kurohane-san said there were many kind hearted sunrises out there . but , master haven't found sunrise yet . He said lulu has to be master's lullaby until master find sunrise . Lulu swore , lulu is going to accompany master until night passed down . poor master .
but yesterday , shineylock was scrolling all new gossips . lulu hated gossip . wait , lulu heard master's story! how dare she gossiping about master!
"calm down sweety , let's just knowing what was that all about . you said you cared master rite? we are not at smart house when master went to it . Shineylock was there my dear." said kurohane-san .
I obeyed him . kimi wa watashi no sempai desu kara . Lulu kept hearing . Lulu heard it , shineylock told us that my master staring at one of sunrises whose sat in the chamber . shineylock angry with that sunrise because that sunrise already had a left-wing to fly . Yes! Lulu was mad also! lulu wanted to slam that butterfly wings . although , they didn't know about master's miracle . my little master . poor girl . won't that sunrise realizes that my master was staring at that sunrise all the time? will that sunrise ? that sunrise was a big dummy though .
Shineylock saw another . Master just ready with all tools when master worried about that sunrise . That sunrise never there until the white piece were distributed . that sunrise always missing! Lulu hated that sunrise so much . that sunrise made my master felt in that way .
"where was he?" master said . shineylock decreased her own feeling to kill that sunrise .
shineylock sure enough , that sunrise just with that sunrise's left-wing . Yucks , lulu wanted to kick that silly butterfly wings . muddy did .
Shineylock did not really know how important that sunrise was . but , my master looked like to go with miracle . my master start to smiled deeper with it . shineylock said (again) , master liked that sunrise's box . that box will threw a beautiful voice at the time he played with it . I knew , Master likes historical melody . Historical melody quite difficult to mastered . so , my master absolutely bewitched by that . yesterday , day moon was very dark . covered by our rainy dew .
Oh my dear master . my master is turning sound reflection from the violet box all the time . not talking to it , pressing it's side , or rather touching things on it's screen . my master was attracted by it's voice . voice with pretty phrases . my master easily got the dews down by it .
"I need to know what's on your mind
these coffee cup are getting cold
mind people passing by
they don't know i'll be leaving soon.."
Lulu likes the voice . it made lulu feel calm . wind , wind , and wind . too bad, master in sadness field . today, shineylock saw that sunrise spent spare time at smart house with that sunrise's left-wing . Shineylock was getting angry when knew it . shineylock said , master's face just same as the time master found grand madam death .
Master should be happy . master has to find another sunrise . up to then , just Lulu . Lulu is master's star . glowing master's heart . disappearing master's pain . moreover master! kurohane-san to shineylock mo , daijyoubu desu . Master , everything gonna be alright .
Signed by ,
Lulu

Selasa, 09 Desember 2008

Lyric ...lyric...and lyric

Katakan padaku yang sebenarnya kau mau
Agar aku bisa lanjutkan hidupku
Perasaanku mengatakan ‘kan ada pisah
Tapi mengapa kau menarik ulur hatiku

Jika kau butuh katakan butuh
Jika kau cinta katakan cinta

Katakan padaku apa yang harus ku buat
Biarkan kau bahagia dan aku juga bahagia
Perasaanku mengatakan ‘kan ada pisah
Tapi mengapa kau menarik ulur hatiku

Jika kau butuh katakan butuh
Jika kau cinta katakan cinta
Jika berpisah pisahlah saja
Sakit dan perih hanya sementara

Katakan padaku yang sebenarnya kau mau
Agar aku bisa melanjutkan hidupku...
(Katakan Yang Sebenarnya - Dewiq)


*))damned, gue ke sentil abis..&*#@%!!

Kamis, 04 Desember 2008

Tentang Aku

berlian air mata
tertahan di sudut mata warna
kembali kau menyapa
kembali juga aku tertawa
kembali ku tersenyum
namun akhir tiada berbeda
ku gesek biola, sayang tak berdawai
ku petik nadanya, sayang melodimu terbuang
tak ada lagi semangat terajut
kepingan diriku,terpaku diangan
apa dan mengapa?
angin yang ada lapuk berdebu?
mengapa nyanyiannya tak ceria?
tak juga bertiup..
tak juga berdesir..
mata ini melihat
hati ini meronta
biarlah berlianku..air mataku..
berbicara tentang aku