Andytasan!

NO ED...NO JAKE..

2009-11-30T07:22:00.000-08:00

hello there sweet fox,
mau curcol aja nih..
haha..
udah empat hari nih sigle.wkwk
btw, gue tuh udah hampir 3 bulan sih sama dia..
jadi jangan salah paham klo gue cepet bgt putusnya.
haha.gue postingnya baru2 ini sih. :d
kenapa gue masih nyesek aja yah?
payah nih.
hmmm....dyt inget.
rememberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......
dia gak butuh lo. dia pasti udah dapet perempuan lain. dan, DIA PASTI GAK KEHILANGAN LO.
dia pasti gampang ngegantiin lo.
dia pasti ngegantiin lo dengan mudahnya.
mungkin dia udah dapet pengganti lo.
dia gak nganggep lo penting kok dyt.
camkan itu dyt.HARUS.
dia sekarang mungkin lagi sama perempuan lain.
so,
tegar dyt.
tegar.
tegar.
tegar.
DAMNEDDD.
biar gue selalu remind myself to stop thinking about it,
i just can't get him out from my mind.
KAPAN SIH LO HILANG DARI PIKIRAN GUE?
KAPAN?

kenapa my heart ached like a hell when i saw his status?
"buka lembaran baru.cari pacar BARU.....and blablablabla..."
kambing, gue rasa - rasanya kok nelangsa yah??
demiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i'm not okeyyyyy.....
i'm NOT OKEYYYY.....
(lagunya mcr)
huft.
BOMAT AJA DEH.

gue adalah bella yang ditinggal edward.
posisi kita emang agak mirip,
dia ngerasa gak cukup deserve buat gue.
padahal gue gak pernah keberatan dengan itu semua,
gue terima dia apa adanya.

yes, i AM bella who had left by edward and got no Jacob around me.
no jacob who's going to protect me and cheer me up..

neither..
hope someone will be my jacob. wanna be?

could it becomes more complicated here?
i dunno,

btw.
kehidupan gue gak sepeti yang orang2 bilang.
it's great to being me, NOPE.
you ARE ABSOLUTELY DAMN WRONG...
gue emang punya keluarga yang baik. my parents ARE the most
faithfull couple in this world. mereka satu - satunya
couple yang bisa ngeyakinin gue bahwa real love DOES exist.
tapi cuman satu couple itu aja. the rest? GO TO HELLL..

dan gue lack of cares.
gue lelah dengan image seorang kakak yang selalu tanggap, tegar,tegas,
dan selalu bisa diandalkan. dalam keluarga gue, tanpa di sadari oleh
ortu gue, gue udah di didik untuk dewasa sebelum umurnya. selalu diposisikan as
adult. gue juga gak bisa manja2 dan dari kecil udah punya prioritas untuk kerja.
pandangan gue jauh dari anak - anak pada umumnya. i lost my time to be an ordinary
cheerfull girl. teenage with all kindaf stuffs. nope, i'm being so much diff from them.
gue belajar menyadari kalau gue adalah calon tulang punggung keluarga.
gue merasa beban ini berat dan sangat membebani.
no times for playing thing.

i felt hopeless since long time a go..

bahkan gue belajar untuk gak nyusahin.
gue menekankan kalau gue gak boleh manja. even i wish i could..
no hug.
no sweet things.
gue jadi pribadi yang lumayan tertutup dan sulit berbagi cerita ke keluarga gue sendiri.
gue cuman gak mau nambah masalah. gue juga belajar gak ngeluh dalam keadaan apapun.
gue gak mau ngebebanin bonyok dengan rengekan gak penting.i just learned those stuffs until
i reliazed that's become my characteristic now.

gue terkadang mau teriak..
HEY I WISH I COULD BE A LITTLE BIT CHILDISH..
gue pengen so coloured by, just like others.
di care enough, di elus kepalanya...
gue pengen...i badly want it . treat like I AM A CHILD.
gue pengen sedikit aja ngerasain kayak gitu. but how?
gue ngiri sama temen gue yang bisa bermanja ria sama bonyoknya, sama temennya, sama PACARNYA.
bisa bebas ngomong dan santai. free from task..
tapi bonyok gue udah biasa nganggep gue dewasa.

menjadi dewasa, i guarantee you won't glad.
hanya ada ruang kosong.
gue sepi banget, kesepian.

ketika gue pulang malem dengan siapapun, bonyok irit banget nanyain dimana gue.
apakah mereka peduli? i feel pity to myself.
mungkin, tapi knp gak ditunjukin?

sedangkan temen2 gue? mereka udah ditanyain berkali2 sama ortu mereka.
what a lil' envy, didn't i used to be?
YES.
knp ortu mereka care banget sama anaknya?

mereka punya cara tersendiri, mencintai anak - anaknya.
i believed in that.

tapi terkadang, i feel so need kind of cares.

hidup gue udah terlalu datarr..sedatar giginya paris hilton (sorry i had no idea to compared to)

tekad gue adalah membahagiakan orang tua. sampai detik ini prioritas utama gue adalah itu.
mereka gak tau apa yang gue tetapin dari dulu.
walaupun gue gak pernah bilang,
apa yang diajarkan sama ortu gue adalah,
"love and care don't have to spell in words. but, in what you're going to do for it,prove that you ARE really meant."
"silence, sometime is a thing that show you ARE understand each others."
"to dedicate takes all soul,heart,mind and energy. Do a pure hearted whenever you're at. even honoured evil gets the rule. "

that all folks. see ya..

THIS IS IT

2009-11-28T04:43:00.001-08:00

Hei, i really have to called by a name nih..
gak enak ga ada nama haha..:D
fox,
what a sweet name..
oke fox,

*sigh*sigh*sigh*sigh*
i've broken up with him. i rather have to called him ex.
broken up-nya kemaren.
yah gitu deh. tau masalah yang kemaren kan??
yah, dari sana pembicaraan kita melebar..bar bar..
terus semua dibicarain baik - baik sih. jadi putusnya juga baik - baik.
maybe we're born not to be complete each others.
kita bukan takdir.

ya sudah.

tapi masalahnya gue tuh tadinya bisa banget. gak ada rasa apa - apa.
even i wan't cried or leak out..sama sekali.
mungkin lataran doa nyokap dari mekkah kali yah,
dia berdoa buat gue. biar gue dapet yang terbaik..
thanks mom, you did it. mungkin memang dia bukan yang terbaik buat aku..

manjur yah,

huft, tapi sekarang gue ngerasa ada BIG BLACK HOLE IN MY HEART.
damned! gue kangen gak nahan sama dia.
kangeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen
bangeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
gue rasanya uring - uringan aja.

tadi sebenarnya gue sms dia minta ketemu,
dia tanya kenapa,
gue jawab gak ada alasan. mungkin dia kira gue minta balikan kali yah
tapi i swear, i never think about it.
keinginan gue sederhana , cuman pengen ngeliat dia untuk terakhir kalinya.
itu aja kok. gue juga gak tau mau ngapain.
hmmm...mungkin, i'll hug him.
seerat mungkin.
tapi, it's impossible now.

we ARE ex now.

dia curang deh, bikin gue kayak gini. bener gak?
gue ngerasa kosong..banget. kenapa yah?
apa gue udah mulai kehilangan?

udah dyt lupain aja,
toh dia mungkin sekarang lagi ketawa - tawa. dia gak butuh lo dyt. TRY TO BE STRONG.
dia paling udah dapet perampuan lain.
forget him,
you'll get another..

*sighhhhhhhh*

ada satu hal yang gue benci.
kenapa sih cowo2 itu selalu bilang,
"kamu terlalu baik buat aku"
wtf??!!
gue benci banget kata - kata itu.
BENCI BANGET.

i reliazed that, gue amat sangat rapuh sekarang. gue jujur..butuh orang buat meluk gue . cheer me up or whatever it is..
tapi disini gak ada siapapun. so lonely.
sepi..
gue gak bisa nangis,
jangan paksa gue nagis..karena gue udah (menangis dalam) tertawa palsu untuk menutupi itu semua. jangan buat gue sia - sia tertawa.
gue udah gunain seluruh kemampuan untuk terlihat tegar.

i'll miss those little silly things..
i'll miss it a lot..
walaupun gue yakin dia gak bakal kehilangan gue sama sekali.
gue tau dia gak sedih.

hal - hal yang bikin gue inget dia:
1. motor
2.suara motor
3.nightmare before christmas
4.basket
5. bola basket
6.basket accesories
7.jacket
8.warna hijau
9.warna biru
10.sofa ruang tamu
11.sofa ruang tv
12. helm
13.koran
14. sweets/makanan manis2 dan gula.
15.AW
16.jalan
17.lampu jalan
18.gading
19.giant
20.mm
21.gramedia
22.PS
23.kaos LA streetball
24.streetball
25.kunci motor
26.castle burger
27.dufan
28.facebook
29.msn
30.lukisan
31.lagu insomnia-craig david and wheesung
32.lagu midnight bottle-colbie caillat
33.lagu 4 in the morning-gwen stefani
34.kaos V neck
35.La piazza
36.minuman
37.HP nokia
38.BB curve
39.Rnb songs
40.kamera
41.alergi ikan
42.club basket
43.air dingin
44.es batu
45.bantal
46.sepatu coklat
47.eskalator.
48.life music
49.tebs
50.christmas carol
51.get merrid 2
52.nirina zubir
53.final.dest. 3D
54.tiket bioskop
55. kalung jam paris gue
56. laptop gue
56.HP gue
57.tas dia
58.rumah gue
59.Blitz
60. bilyard

dan masih bnyak lagi..
masih banyak lagi..................

gue lagi butuh di cheer up.
kambing mampet.
i really need someone to protect me,
gue butuh sosok itu.
tapi gak ada lagi yang perhatian sama gue,nanyain kabar gue,bilang sayang sama gue, meluk gue, khawatirin keadaan gue, ngelus kepala gue,jeles sama gue, bikin gue ketawa geli, bikin gue terharu,bikin gue ngerasa so sweet lagi..

semua itu hilang.
sepi bgt rasanya.
hampaa..

*ups i start to cry*

gue harus strong.
yes, i have to.

Haven't you?

2009-11-26T23:43:00.000-08:00

To really love a woman
to understand her
you've got to know what deep inside
hear every thought see every dream
and give her wings when she wants to fly
and when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell her that she's really woman
When you love a woman
you tell her that she's the one
She needs somebody
to tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really
really, reallly
ever loved a woman?

To really love a woman
to let her hold you
till you know how she needs to be touched
you've gotta breath her
and really taste her
until you can feel her in your blood
when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell her that she's really woman
When you love a woman
you tell that she's the one
She needs somebody
to tell her that you'll always be together
so tell me have you've ever really,
really, really ever loved a woman?

You've got to give her some faith
hold her tight
a little tenderness
you've gotta treat her right
she will be there for you
taking good care of you
(you've really gotta love your woman) (yeah)
and when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms
you know you really love a woman

When you love a woman
you tell her that she's really woman
When you love a woman
you tell her that she's the one
She needs somebody
to tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever, really
really, really, ever loved a woman?
Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman?
Just tell me have you ever really,
really, really, ever loved a woman?
("Have you ever really loved a woman">>Bryan Adams)

Cerita lagi deh. Maaf kalau bosen.

2009-11-26T22:50:00.000-08:00

haha..kayaknya udah ketebak deh apa yang mau gue ceritain
lagi..

yups, again and again..
about my bf.

sebenarnya tadinya sih bisa - biasa aja.
tapi gue dapet laporan, kalau dia ********h..
gue coba cari info sih, secara gue orangnya gak bego masalah beginian.
yah, ternyata ada indikasi kalau..mungkin,
he's on cheating or whatever it will be really cheating act or nope..

and i'm so sick about it.
hurt a little bit (if it is rite) , tapi kalau itu bener gue malah jatohnya males dan ilfeel..
bukan marah,
palingan kesel aja..

if he really did it, i'll absolutely break him up.
gue gak pantes buat jerk kayak gitu.
bagi gue faithfulness is number one, top of my list.

harta? udah gue bilang gak penting banget bagi gue..
tampang? emang penting sih, tapi bukan prioritas juga..buat apa ganteng tapi jerk!
pinter? sama, bukan juga..

kesetiaan yang ada di atas itu semua.
gue egois masalah cinta.
honestly,
i want to be the only one.
i want my man see me as the one. only me.
i want my man love me as the one.only me.
gue mau hanya gue yang ada dipandangannya..

So, that's why i called selfish to myself..

i envy bella and edward.
so much,
love life yang perfect.
i do really hate that i (maybe) can't have such story like them. tercipta hanya untuk satu orang. bahkan, edward menunggu hampir seabad. 90 tahun!
could you imagine that?
oh my..for god's sake!

tapi yang gue lebih benci,
ketika gue jatuh untuk seseorang,
i'll give my whole heart.
i am going to fall with my all.

gue kuno banget yah?
ada yang bilang gue itu berlebihan,
tapi apa boleh buat.
gue gak bisa ngerubah apa yang ada. gue ya gue.
bomat kalo gue KUNO.

ini yang ngebuat gue -personally- do NOT believe real love like soulmate ever exist in this world.
ga mungkin ada love like adam dan hawa gitu..
seperti romeo dan juliet, what the hell..impossible.

So, kita liat aja.
gimana nanti..semuanya berakhir..

.sketches.me.made.

2009-11-20T21:04:00.000-08:00

MERMAID>MERMAID>MERMAID>>>>>........;D

webcam @ school

2009-11-20T20:54:00.000-08:00

we will rock you!..:D

YESTERDAY'S SAD MEMORY

2009-11-20T19:04:00.000-08:00

Yesterday my parents gone.

but not really gone like that! Gosh..!

Oh my, NOPE . buang pikiran itu JAUH - JAUH. I’m not ready yet .
I’m just ordinary 16 years old teenage.
The new is,
They will have hajji for about almost a month.

Hmm…ternyata gue gak bisa nahan air mata juga..
My tears just leak out from my eyes. Even though I tried to be strong. Gue sampe ga sanggup buat natap mereka , mereka tuh melambaikan tangan ke gue gue dengan begonyaa malah nunduk. Ah elah, cengeng abis deh . tapi gue udah bomat aja sama orang – orang yang stared at me . Oh yeah, Almost everybody stared at me. Kambing mampet , tapi BOMAT AJA DEH. Toh penampilan gue udah mess up kemaren. Gue gak mikirin penampilan gue sama sekali . padahal, I used to care to my appearance .

Tapi I don’t CARE MUCH ABOUT IT . yang penting gue harus nganterin bonyok no matter what.
I can’t help myself.

When I told these (to my bf of course) , he said that it was common. Ordinary peoples usually got tear drops when something precious gone. Yes, my parents are TOTALLY MY TREASURE.
Although I never say it loud ,
I hope they’re going to be just fine. Nothing necessary happen..
I hope..:)

Gara – gara kemaren gue butuh coffee buat nenangin pikiran .
Yeah , I can’t stop myself from coffee addicted. Bagi gue coffee udah kayak mariyuana kali yah . abisnya gue tuh suka semua jenis kopi. mau itu pahit kek , latte kek, manis kek, caramel kek . I don’t really mind it cause , they’re smell damn good to me. Coffee is goddess drink ever . Heavenly delirious..
Aroma biji coffee(mau yang ditumbuk atau yang masih berupa biji) aja udah bikin gue kayak nyium perfume channel . Sounds weird, isn’t it?
Apa sih nama buat penggila kopi kayak gue? Caffeine holic? Apa yahh???
It’s kind of habit , impossible to keep myself from it .
Ugh. Maybe I can’t stop to consume these stuffs in this suck situation .
For god’s sake , I just can’t……

Aaaaaaaaaaaaa.

2009-11-14T06:47:00.000-08:00

gini yah.
pertama - tama. gue ngerasa my bf udah bener - bener berubah.
Why?
1. dia jarang sms. sms seperlunya. singkat lagi. bikin BT aja.wtf ?!
2.it seems like he don't even care i'm still alive or not.
3. dia gak peduli sama gue. nanyain apa kek. ini mah enggak!
4. he's caring side totally dissapered. what the hell? gue gak ngerti.
5. i thought maybe he lost his love love me. in other hand, BOSEN.

kemana perginya bf yang selalu say hai dipagi hari?
kemana my old bf yang lucu dan so sweet sama gue?
i miss him a lot.
bring him back please..:"(

gue jadi gak kenal siapa bf gue sekarang.
he turns into snowman.
BRRRRR..dingin deh gue.

dia bilang dia suka pacaran yang rajin sms.
fine, i did it.
dia bilang gue DINGIN gak manggil pake sebutan yang manis - manis.
fine, i did it.
gue panggil darl lah, honey lah, sayang lah, APA LAH..
PADAHAL GUE TUH ORANGNYA GAK SUKA SAMA HAL - HAL GAK PENTING KAYAK GINI.
dia bilang gue gak boleh potong rambut.
fine, i did it.
WALAUPUN GUE HARUS MAKAN HATI, JANTUNG ATAU LIVER (eh ini enggak deh, aneh)
BUAT NAHAN DIRI GAK MOTONG GAYA RAMBUT YANG KEREN ABIS MENURUT GUE.
dia bilang gue harus ngabarin dia dimana pun gue berada.
fine i did it.
GUE BILANG DIMANAPUN GUE BERADA WALAUPUN SEKARANG DIA GAK NGABARIN GUE LAGI KALAU KEMANA - MANA . ENTAH LUPA ATAU GAK MAU NGABARIN SAMA SEKALI.

see?
gue padahal udah bodo amat sama perkataan temen - temen gue yang nyuruh gue putus sama dia. tapi mau gimana lagi, gue udah terlanjur sayang. EMANG LO CURANG BANGET.

dia gak tau gue kayak gimana takutnya pas dia marah.
dia gak tau udah berapa banyak waktu yang gue relain buat dia. INGET TUH. MALEM JUGA.
dia gak tau gue bela - belain diomelin nyokap + tampang pejabat bokap gue.
dia gak tau gue udah rela ngebelain dia dan NGELINDUNGIN dia di depan bonyok gue.
dia gak tau temen - temen gue udah ngeliat tampat NELANGSA GUE pas ada masalah sama dia. EVEN I HAD A TEARDROP FOR HIM.
dia gak tau khawatirnya gue kehilangan dia.
dia gak tau gue frustrasi pas nunggu keputusan dia .
dia gak tau gue pasrah pas ngerasa dia ngejauh dari gue.

YA DIA GAK TAU.
gue juga gak maksa dia au.
gue selalu terima bf gue apa adanya. gue seneng kalu mereka seneng. no matter if it is hurt . i'll secrife myself. gue gak nuntut ini itu.
gue gak matre.
gue juga gak aneh - aneh maunya.
permintaan gue sederhana.
terima gue apa adanya.
hargain keputusan gue .
dan , tetep disamping gue, jangan berubah.

perempuan manapun , even if it is me though , curiga kalau bf-nya berubah seperti ini,
bener gak sih?
dari super perhatian jadi dingin gini?
ada 2 kemungkinan sih..
1. perempuan itu BODOH atau IDIOT.
2 perempuan itu TIDAK PERNAH SAYANG dan menilai itu semua tidak cukup penting baginya.

lalu,
apakah gue berlebihan?
gue rasa enggak deh.

CURCOL AJA DEH GAK ADA MEDIA BUAT NGOMONG

2009-11-10T06:31:00.000-08:00

first of all..
long time no see..bla bla bla..
bullshark for being english spoken person..
for now, i just want to express my own feeling.
okey, in short , i got a new boyfriend.
tapi yang ngeselin . dia tuh MALESIN .
shit, i never been in these kind of things . my ex-es tuh biasanya pengertian dan perhatian . mereka tau banget siapa gue. dan BIASANYA ADEM AYEM AJA TUH.
so, what happened now?
geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssss,
i'm too tired to fighting , everyday.
yes, EVERYDAY. ALMOST EVERYDAY..
silly, it usually comes from easy little things. AGH WHAT SHOULD I DO?
gue tuh sadar, dia buat gue berubah sedikit demi sedikit.
sadar buat kebaikan gue juga. BUT , didn't it go too much?
kadang gue rasa dia terlalu menuntut .
So sorry aja kalau gue gak seperti your Ex-es whose you've already got before.
So sorry aja if i'm not kind of lovey dopey girl that used to be childish and sweeeeeeeet!
oh dear, i'm the girl who's independet and free . gue juga used to be a mature girl, jauh dari perempuan pada umumnya . but, is it a big deal anyway?
i thought we have to accept what are in ..
terima apa adanya kan?

gue harus gimana?
gue EMANG CUEK . TAPI GUE UDAH BERUSAHA .
like what you've told me.
but, it's just who i really am .
better for you to start accept..

My List

2009-07-09T23:10:00.000-07:00

first of all i would like to say ,
i'm very sad to michael jackson's death.
your soul inspired me, always...:""C
*ugh,i'm cryin' again..*

i love you until the end.
king of pop..

next, back to my purpose ..
i want to tell you bout my list , the most in my world for some subjects..:d

10 hottest guy are:
eng ing eng..

10. JOHNNY DEEP

9. WU CHUN

8. MATSUDA SHOTA

7. ALEXANDER LUDWIG

6. GACKT

5. KEVIN APRILLIO (because of his music taste..)

4. HERO JAEJOONG

3. REITA GAZETTE

2. JAMES OWEN SULLIVAN

1. KIM BUM

they are persons..
who are (for me) the most wanted boyfriend in my world..hahahaha

10 hottest anime characters are:
eng ing eng

10. TIDUS (Final Fantasy)

9. GENZO SANZO (Saiyuki Reload)

8. SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS (kuroshitsuji)

7. SESSHOUMARU (inuyasha)

6. ECHIZEN RYOMA (Prince of Tennis)

5. NEJI HYUUGA (Naruto & Naruto Shippuden)

4. SABAKU GAARA (Naruto & Naruto Shippuden)

3. VINCENT VALENTINE (Final Fantasy)

2. TEZUKA KUNIMITSU (Prince of Tennis)

1. HAJI (Blood+)

hahaw..that all for now..
maybe next time, i'll tell you more...:d

see you around...:D

Written by Lulu

2009-03-12T22:11:00.000-07:00

My name is Lulu . 3 years ago someone took me from far away and brought Lulu to my present Master . Lulu cared master so much . Lulu cannot lie that lulu wants to write some story now . Lulu is living in master's room .

master's room quite messy sometimes but, master cleans it up every times she is getting cough with that allergy . Lulu sad when master gets ill for those things . Lulu happy if master smiles , but hurt also at master's dew . master always hugging lulu when master cry . Lulu can felt master's dews between lulu's skin . Lulu wanted to cry with , but no dew comes out . lulu wants to cry .

last days , master said something about miracle . Lulu does not know what it is . Lulu can't talk so , lulu just listed to master's words . master said miracle means : irrational , untrusted , and destructive . master always said that . master never believes in miracle . master said real world had no good . Right-wings will betray their own left-wings . many scars , crushed the tissue so , they will not fly . master said immortal miracle which will gained along the lifetime never exist . master not believed the true miracle , so was soul mate as well . Master , Lulu worried about you . Lulu is looking at master every times master sleeps beside lulu . Master... master... master... Lulu is here all the time .

Lulu knew there were many butterfly wings in this world . they are happy . but , why master did not ? Lulu wants master's happiness . smile as many as master could . Lulu 's master felt strange if master found butterfly wings with unconditional miracle . master said it was weird . although my master has already felt being a butterfly wings . my master never wanted to fly back the previous one .

Lulu has an old friend . He is kurohane-san . kurohane-san told lulu that master just dizzy because of society . kurohane-san said there were many kind hearted sunrises out there . but , master haven't found sunrise yet . He said lulu has to be master's lullaby until master find sunrise . Lulu swore , lulu is going to accompany master until night passed down . poor master .

but yesterday , shineylock was scrolling all new gossips . lulu hated gossip . wait , lulu heard master's story! how dare she gossiping about master!

"calm down sweety , let's just knowing what was that all about . you said you cared master rite? we are not at smart house when master went to it . Shineylock was there my dear." said kurohane-san .

I obeyed him . kimi wa watashi no sempai desu kara . Lulu kept hearing . Lulu heard it , shineylock told us that my master staring at one of sunrises whose sat in the chamber . shineylock angry with that sunrise because that sunrise already had a left-wing to fly . Yes! Lulu was mad also! lulu wanted to slam that butterfly wings . although , they didn't know about master's miracle . my little master . poor girl . won't that sunrise realizes that my master was staring at that sunrise all the time? will that sunrise ? that sunrise was a big dummy though .

Shineylock saw another . Master just ready with all tools when master worried about that sunrise . That sunrise never there until the white piece were distributed . that sunrise always missing! Lulu hated that sunrise so much . that sunrise made my master felt in that way .

"where was he?" master said . shineylock decreased her own feeling to kill that sunrise .

shineylock sure enough , that sunrise just with that sunrise's left-wing . Yucks , lulu wanted to kick that silly butterfly wings . muddy did .

Shineylock did not really know how important that sunrise was . but , my master looked like to go with miracle . my master start to smiled deeper with it . shineylock said (again) , master liked that sunrise's box . that box will threw a beautiful voice at the time he played with it . I knew , Master likes historical melody . Historical melody quite difficult to mastered . so , my master absolutely bewitched by that . yesterday , day moon was very dark . covered by our rainy dew .

Oh my dear master . my master is turning sound reflection from the violet box all the time . not talking to it , pressing it's side , or rather touching things on it's screen . my master was attracted by it's voice . voice with pretty phrases . my master easily got the dews down by it .

"I need to know what's on your mind

these coffee cup are getting cold

mind people passing by

they don't know i'll be leaving soon.."

Lulu likes the voice . it made lulu feel calm . wind , wind , and wind . too bad, master in sadness field . today, shineylock saw that sunrise spent spare time at smart house with that sunrise's left-wing . Shineylock was getting angry when knew it . shineylock said , master's face just same as the time master found grand madam death .

Master should be happy . master has to find another sunrise . up to then , just Lulu . Lulu is master's star . glowing master's heart . disappearing master's pain . moreover master! kurohane-san to shineylock mo , daijyoubu desu . Master , everything gonna be alright .

Signed by ,

Lulu

Lyric ...lyric...and lyric

2008-12-09T00:41:00.000-08:00

Katakan padaku yang sebenarnya kau mau
Agar aku bisa lanjutkan hidupku
Perasaanku mengatakan ‘kan ada pisah
Tapi mengapa kau menarik ulur hatiku

Jika kau butuh katakan butuh
Jika kau cinta katakan cinta

Katakan padaku apa yang harus ku buat
Biarkan kau bahagia dan aku juga bahagia
Perasaanku mengatakan ‘kan ada pisah
Tapi mengapa kau menarik ulur hatiku

Jika kau butuh katakan butuh
Jika kau cinta katakan cinta
Jika berpisah pisahlah saja
Sakit dan perih hanya sementara

Katakan padaku yang sebenarnya kau mau
Agar aku bisa melanjutkan hidupku...
(Katakan Yang Sebenarnya - Dewiq)

*))damned, gue ke sentil abis..&*#@%!!

Tentang Aku

2008-12-04T07:47:00.000-08:00

berlian air mata
tertahan di sudut mata warna
kembali kau menyapa
kembali juga aku tertawa
kembali ku tersenyum
namun akhir tiada berbeda
ku gesek biola, sayang tak berdawai
ku petik nadanya, sayang melodimu terbuang
tak ada lagi semangat terajut
kepingan diriku,terpaku diangan
apa dan mengapa?
angin yang ada lapuk berdebu?
mengapa nyanyiannya tak ceria?
tak juga bertiup..
tak juga berdesir..
mata ini melihat
hati ini meronta
biarlah berlianku..air mataku..
berbicara tentang aku

Hidup dan Mati

2008-12-04T07:37:00.000-08:00

Mati bertanya..
ketika hidup bermakna
apa perlu ada Rasa?

hidup menjawab..
ketika mati terlaksana
tangisan bermakna rasa..

old hobby comes back

2008-10-13T02:43:00.000-07:00

i'm just thinkin' and...

eng ing eng....

piano was painted by me..painted with paint program in windows,rite??

gutgut...

although little messy all around,i felt great to did my old hobby...:))))

why????

2008-10-08T05:30:00.000-07:00

heheehe...
i dunno why now, i like to make poems...
hmmm in fact, i do shame to publish all mine, coz i am too shame....:)))

like this day,this aftern i just made one more...:P

here's da poem:

barely you

rain cloud comes and bring grey

felt it was yesterday when i said goodbye

oh my,too hard to feeling nice

just distracted ,saw you're gone

i've tried to abolish those memories

again and again staring you

waitin' on my clock,relized my side

filling here with emptiness

ground kept me, all secretly

a lay on my fairy tears

i broke both my wings

changed them into reality and shape myself

forgetin' shallow dream..

take a sorrowfull to make me breath

cuting your snare and getting free

i do strong enough to bring my steps

leavin' all my past

btw, i've made song's lyric..

is there any of you want to make the melody for me, i can't make it well...:DDD

ketika aku mulai...lupa..

2008-10-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

telah kucoba...menangis...
menangis dan menangis...
tapi,andai aku bisa..
akan selalu kubuat air mataku mengalir..
bukan membeku dan menguap
bukan membatu dan terlupakan
ingin...rasanya tertawa
namun aku telah kehilangan warna
tak akan pernah ada kata
bersama memudarnya senyumku
hatiku kini tertutup...
rapat,terpendam jauh disana
semua itu bohong..
apakah mereka tahu bohong itu menyakitkan??
racun...
terlalu sakit untuk terucap atau terlihat
sampai aku lupa ternyata...
aku telah berbeda
aku..tak seperti dulu
aku mendingin,mungkin akan mati...
mati dalam hatiku juga senyumku...

MIRROR

2008-09-15T04:57:00.000-07:00

mirror on the wall
stared along the aged
adored behind the night
stayed always..above the cloud...

mirror on the wall
tell me that you'll here with me
give me heart,so i can see the ground

mirror..mirror..my old friend...
don't be sad while the sky painted, grey...
me..here standing just for you

Oh my dear..
we will walk through the heaven
sail together on the wings
dance happily across the stars
and sing a sound of dreams...hopes...

you my live...
don't you cry..
i'll leave the smile...
though my eyes freze with tears
never past and go with..
ceaselessly me and you..

2008-09-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[CHORUS:]When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
-[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
[Chorus]
[my immortal-evanescence-]

kisah dewi angin

2008-09-05T07:07:00.001-07:00

ketika angin bernyayi
pagi berkabut..
tersembunyi..
sepi..
tidak awan,matahari, lembah , sungai atau pun pelangi
tidak juga gunung dan pepohonan
ya..
tidak satupun meniup nada, menebar canda , mengores tawa...
semua kelabu..
sibuk menghalangi..
dan juga..
menangis...
sang angin berputar,melompat,berlari,dan pergi..
menyelinap dan meratap..
berkelana mencari kata..
dan juga menebar air matanya..
membagi..kesedihan..
tanpa tahu siapa terpikat..
andai..
dewi angin meminta..
mungkin..
seseorang akan menerima..
merasa..
atau pun menyambut...
ya..
andai dewi ...
meminta..

di bawah hujan

2008-09-05T07:04:00.000-07:00

atap terasa dingin..
udara tersamar angin
waktu..meninggalkan hujan

melodi sepi..tertahan..
masanya dan masaku kini telah membeku..
mengkristal bersimpuh gagu..

nada air mata

2008-09-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

nada air mata
melayang menerka hampa
berselimut selendang kosong
mengapung sudah arah pandangku....

gelap..mengukir waktu
enggan mengganti setiap saat masa
suara hati melayu sudah..
detak menunggu,menanti..lelah..

my thought....zz

2008-09-05T06:54:00.000-07:00

hahaha...i know,i relize that i'm not so good in poems..huhu
but i got these stuff in my poem book..(orishinill..zz)

so check these out...
:)))

my decision

2008-09-04T05:40:00.000-07:00

dari beberapa hari yang lalu, gue sudah membuka banyak blog orang yang gue temui di internet.

u know what??..i've just decided to make my posting's blog in English...coz i've seen many students have written their blog in english in my age. so, why not?? i can improve my english, i am going to do it no metter if it is with the worst

grammer ever ..

I AM going to make some posting in english started now..(even it will not always in english but i AM going to post it as often as i can..)..

woohiooo...i know it IS hard but i believe that, writing can my english better than before...

magrib..

2008-09-04T05:17:00.000-07:00

hahaha...ga kerasa uda hari ke empat kita puasa..dan asyiknya nyokap gue bikin mie kuah yang enak banget buat buka puasa hari ini..woohoo...
walau ga puasa tapi gue sebagai 'tukang makan' ikut ngerasain yang namanya makanan-buat-buka-puasa...

hahahhaa....
oke,tadi sich gue ada satu kejadian aneh...

gini loh,,

gue tadi kan keluar-rumah-dengan-perut-kenyang,lalu gue dengan santai tanpa dosa buka pintu gerbang rumah lama untuk menuju rumah baru...nah , gue tiba - tiba melihat suatu sosok hitam, kecil, lonjong, dan berekor...(bukan..bukan sendal tetangga)

DAN ITU ADALAH FU**IN RAT!!!!!!!!....omg...gue berusaha ngindarin si tikus bego itu (begonya) juga kayaknya panic...jadi..terjadilah...
SI TIKUS BANG**T ITU NGELEWATIN KAKI KANAN GUE...(ngelewatin means accrosing my foot, ON!!!)
i ..who's in panic syndrome scream immediately and...u know what?!! i stuck in a silly pose...!!
kaki ngangkat satu,tangan keatas satu...DAN unfotunately ada orang lewat naek motor ngeliatin gue...
i'm soo embarased!!!!!....fucking u!!!stupid,dummy,silly,idiot,etc...RATTSS i'm gonna kill UUUU!!!!!!!!!!!

lagu yang gue sukaaa part 2...:DDDDDDDDDD

2008-09-01T05:52:00.000-07:00

toki no mukou kaze no machi e..
nee,tsurete itte..
shiroi hana no yume kanaete..

amai yubi de kono te wo tori..
nee,tooi michi wo
machibiite hoshii no
anata no soba e..

sono utagoe taeni hiru sagari
mezamete futari wa hitotsu ni nari..
shiawase no imi wo hajimete shiruno deshou
tsurete itte?? e...

sono utagoe setsunaku takara kani
subete no kokoro ni hibiku no deshou..
shiawase no imi wo shirazuni nemuru yoru ni??e..

mada shianai yume no mukou
nee,tooi michi wo
futari de yukeruwa
kaze no machi e...
(kaze no machi e-ost tsubasa chronicle..)

lagu yang gue sukaaa

2008-09-01T05:39:00.000-07:00

Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello ..

If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't crySuddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday

(evanescence-hello)

puasa dengan badan yang tidak berkerjasama..

2008-08-31T23:54:00.000-07:00

puasa puasa gini enaknya emang santai..relaxx ga ngapain2...
yach walaupun santai dan relaxx sekalipun klo lo sakit ga ada gunanya...

yah...
gue sakit..

gini ceritanya...

beberapa hari yang lalu gue dah berencana untuk mengunjungi rumah temen gue si prima. dan jadilah gue pergi ke sana minggu kemaren.gue berangkat lumayan siang, disana rencananya mo liat smp 27 (sekolah ungsian prima setelah pindah dari global) . gue emang penasaran bgt ma sekolah itu. jadi, pas nyampe di rumahnya si kribo (prima) gue ma dia siap2 mo pergi ke situ..

prima(p):kita sesananya naek apa nih??
gue(g):apa yah??
p :hmm...iya apa yah? ginama klo naek sepeda aja , gue ga berani maek motor...nyebrang soalnya
g : oke...boncengan??
p : iyalah...

oke kita berdua kemudian berjuank dengan sangat keras mengayuh sepedah tersebut. OMG!! cape baget rasanya ke sono naek sepedah...setengah mampus...

dan ternyata...ditengah jalan...
hujan turun...
kambing...

KITA AKHIRNYA BALIK LAGI KE RUMAH SI KRIBOO.....
sumpah gokil abis..

gue ma dia di panggil panggil ma alay ga jelas lagi...
ampun deh...

dan kesialan masih belom bosen menghampiri kita...

di jalan pulangnya ternyata ada 3 EKOR ANJING yang menghadang...

p: duh dit ada anjing lagi...
g: terus??
p:gue takut nih...lewat jalan lain aja...(trauma masa lalu..sepertinya)
g: aghh elo gue mendingan ngadepin anjing daripada alay...
p:duh dit liat tuh anjing!! ngeliatin gituu...
g: uda lo diem ajaa...(jalanin sepeda..prim sumpe lo berat abiss..)
p: DITAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!...
g:...

gue pun menjalankan sepea engan sekuat jiwa an raga..
an kita berhasil MELALUI 3 anjing (yang tampangnya kea alay itu) tesebut..

sampe di rumah prima..kita siap2 mo pergi naek angkot...karena udah mendung.

kita sampe di 27 dengan selamat. sayang nya pager sekolahanny tutup jadi gue ga bisa liat sampe dalem - dalemnya. gue cuman bisa ngintip ngintip.nabis gue buruk banget sih.gue ngerasa ga asik banget cuman pergi kaya gini doang.jadi, gue nanya si kribo tempat nongkrong mana yang deket dari sana tapi cozy..(sekalian makan laper..)dan pilihannya jatuh ke torry (bener ga sih tulisannya??)...

kita cabut kesana....dan sesampainya disana...

prima da gue pesen makanan....sebenernya kita maunya bugrer tapi katanya belum siap dan akhirnya kita memesan chicken cordon bleu...minumnya?? prima mesen minumam yang full chocolate +krim gtu...dan gue...pesen..COFFEE CREAM LATTE...kyaa..sumpah gue ga boong enakkk banget - benget...(sampe abis 2 gelas..hhe)
sebagai pecinta kopi sejati gue ga akan melewatkan kesempatan untuk minum kopi...hhe

kenyang?? sudah...
weeitss..ada distro..liat2 aghh...(walo ga punya duit..:PP)
kita pun dengan gaya mempunyai- duit-untuk-berkunjung-kedalam-distro-dengan-alasan-yang-sebenarnya-hanya-untuk-mencuci-mata..pun masuk..

kita masuk dan mencuci mata dengan sepuas hati..
kaosnya lucu banget...
topinya juga...
om staff distrony ampe ngeliatin-dengan-curiga-di-matanya....

15 menit kemudian kita keluar tanpa dosa dari distro testebut dengan tidak membeli apa - apa....
hahahahha....

takut hujan lagi..kitapun pulang dengan cepat...

singkat cerita..gue ga prima puas bersilahturahmi ria (baca:gila ria), gue dijemput tapi masih HUJAN LEBAT..selebat bulu gorilaa...kambinggila!!!!!

bokapnya prima ga ngizinn gue pulang dan gue ..menunggu...

waktu semakin bergulir dan emang udah semakin sore..
gue sama mba yati(pembo**t super gue)..nekat pulang basah - basahan....

yah....bagus...
malemnya gue panas dan pusing....

dan jadilah gue sekarang...sakit....huhuhuhuu....

sifat dsar

2008-07-31T04:59:00.000-07:00

gue percaya setiap orang punya sifat dasar masing - masing
yang membuat mereka secara individu berbeda dan unik. begitu juga dengan gue...

gue merasa punya 3 sifat dasar gue yang membuat gue jadi pribadi yang unik...
3 sifat itu,lucunya, gue kasi nama sendiri - sendiri...
langsung aja kali ya....

Sifat dasar gue yang pertama : cold lady ,ga tau kenapa kadang gue punya karakter kaya gini . kalo gue kaya gini ciri - cirinya = ruled by manner, dingin abis, tanpa ekspresi, cuek, ga suka terikat sama tanggung jawab dan omongannya agak tajem(atau malah tajem beneran)+ dikit . biasanya si gue kaya gini klo lagi badmood atau males...
sifat dasar gue yang kedua : wild pirate . ciri - cirinya = suka ngeberontak , tanggung jawab,jail agak bandel , ya gitu deh pokoknya.. agak - agak wild... u know lah what word wild mean...gue kaya gini klo lagi ada di situasi yang ga gue suka.
sifat dasar gue yang ketiga : Summer girl . Hmm gue kasi namakaya gini soalnya gue tu kadang bisa jadi kayak gini, warna - warni kaya summer . ciri - cirinya = agak inconnect, ceria , lucu, baik, agak childish, dan suka minderan. bisa ditebakkan pas lagi apa gue kaya gini?? yang pastii si pas lagi happy dan seneng atau dalam situasi hati yang baik...

hhe..aneh ya gue?? ini bisa terjadi karena mood gue yang berubah - ubah...

tiga sifat itu ngelebur jadi satu dan.....jadilah kepribadian saya...:))))))

my homess

2008-07-08T01:55:00.000-07:00

ini adalah sketsa(baca:gambar anak tk) rumah gue yang ga biasa..

daripada gue jelasin nanti pada bingung mendingan liat sendiri gambarnya..

biasanya gue makan di rumah lama ...tapi waktu gue lebih banyak di habisin di rumah baru gue..

kebayang kan???

gue kerjanya bolak balik mulu tiap hari...kaya orang depresi...

Galery photo

2008-07-06T02:51:00.001-07:00

pas prom night..asik makanan gratisss..

didunia fantasi..Uoohh,,(terlihatkan noraknya??)

sungguh aneh tapi kasatmata(baca: buta)